Lindsay Lohan and her DIVA ways
Christopher Morris Bland, The Toilet Paper's New York correspondent, recently played chaperone-for-hire to the one of Hollywood's most sought-after teen masturbation fantasies during filming of a forthcoming movie we can't name. We also can't tell you who she is, but these are some of her breasts:
Again she must remain nameless but to give you a few clues here is how others refer to her.......
Mrcranky.com: “hung-over, tantrum-hurling, no-show diva,” and “the most famous underage drinker in America”
Defamer.com: “the incredible shrinking starlet,” and “Skeletor”
TheSuperficial.com: “I honestly don't know how she finds the energy to do so much dumb shit every single day.” And “I'm just completely out of ways to make fun of her. I swear to Christ, her life is filled with stuff you normally only see in cartoons.”
Page Six of the New York Post: “top heavy starlet”
So when Christopher Morris Bland was asked, What was an average day on the set with her like? I'm just dying to know.
The thing is, she hardly ever went to set. That was the real problem. Her trailer was like a cocoon, a womb she could always return to, thereby adding hours, literally, to the shooting schedule every single day. Imagine being paid seven million dollars to do something - anything! - and then complaining when you got there that you had to do it. That's what it was like. All the filmmaking traditions - rehearse, light, rehearse, shoot - were out the window. And remember: we weren't making 2001: A Space Odyssey here. “Mama don't rehearse” was the implied motto. But they would ask her to, several times a day, every day. I don't know why.
Top five reasons she contrived not to come on set for rehearsal:
1) “I can't. I bit my cheek. I need to see the medic.”
2) “I can't. It's raining.”
3) “I can't. I just bought a computer, can you show me how to use it?”
4) “I can't. I'm waiting for the FBI to call.”
5) “I can't. Not until my cigarettes get here.”
My second most favorite moment came the one time she did agree to come to set to rehearse. And then didn't. That's my girl.
New York Press: “auburn-haired celebutante trainwreck” To read the full story...CLICK HERE
http://www.toiletpaperonline.com/Issues/2005/June/Anals%20of%20Labor%2006-05.php
Again she must remain nameless but to give you a few clues here is how others refer to her.......Mrcranky.com: “hung-over, tantrum-hurling, no-show diva,” and “the most famous underage drinker in America”
Defamer.com: “the incredible shrinking starlet,” and “Skeletor”
TheSuperficial.com: “I honestly don't know how she finds the energy to do so much dumb shit every single day.” And “I'm just completely out of ways to make fun of her. I swear to Christ, her life is filled with stuff you normally only see in cartoons.”
Page Six of the New York Post: “top heavy starlet”
So when Christopher Morris Bland was asked, What was an average day on the set with her like? I'm just dying to know.
The thing is, she hardly ever went to set. That was the real problem. Her trailer was like a cocoon, a womb she could always return to, thereby adding hours, literally, to the shooting schedule every single day. Imagine being paid seven million dollars to do something - anything! - and then complaining when you got there that you had to do it. That's what it was like. All the filmmaking traditions - rehearse, light, rehearse, shoot - were out the window. And remember: we weren't making 2001: A Space Odyssey here. “Mama don't rehearse” was the implied motto. But they would ask her to, several times a day, every day. I don't know why.
Top five reasons she contrived not to come on set for rehearsal:
1) “I can't. I bit my cheek. I need to see the medic.”
2) “I can't. It's raining.”
3) “I can't. I just bought a computer, can you show me how to use it?”
4) “I can't. I'm waiting for the FBI to call.”
5) “I can't. Not until my cigarettes get here.”
My second most favorite moment came the one time she did agree to come to set to rehearse. And then didn't. That's my girl.
New York Press: “auburn-haired celebutante trainwreck” To read the full story...
posted by Bricks and Stones at Friday, June 17, 2005
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