Ted Casablanca's Blind Item: "One Quelle Surprise Blind Vice"

Oh, this one's rich. So much so I'm going to fling my pumped up, only slightly limp wrists right past that network pretty boy who's doing every gym-going dude he can, not to mention the gorgeous matinee idol's daddy who's practically doing the same, as of late. Rather predictable, both of these closeted guys, if you ask me.

More fun, in my jaded book, would be Plumper Dumper's newfound cojones. But let me, uh, back up first, 'kay?

Mr. Dumper, also a man known more for his male-on-male activities than his female goings-on, flabbergasted more than a few of us fruits when he married Bertha Broom-Rider. Suddenly, P.D. attempted to be more discreet in his fraternizing 'n' fellah-collecting--activities he did not curb once he walked down the aisle with B.B.R. Though few expected him to, 'course.

Not even Ms. B.R. She just didn't want to know exactly what it was her husband was doing hanging out with guys all the time. Maybe they were playing ball? Denial, denial, denial--sorta like my mama still expects me to ask out some nice girl, but never mind...

So, it was a mucho shockarooney to Bertha (but not the friends she blabbed to later) when Plumper officially came out of the closet recently. Just to his wife, mind you. And just to sweetly rub it in, Mr. Dumper chose one of his wife's worst days ever for the boy-bombshell delivery. B.B.R. was the only one majorly surprised. No one else.

No wonder that babe's pro schedule is all atwitter--her noggin's, like, nowhere in the vicinity of reality.

(Oh, and for the tasty record, the above network pretty boy will be making his own debut in these Blinded pages soon enough. He's too big not to.)

AND IT AINT- j.lo, britney, kathie lee

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