Friday, November 17, 2006

Shanna Kindly Reminds Paris to Take Her Valtrex

The ongoing feud between Paris Hilton and former Miss USA Shanna Moakler has gone beyond the level of “No she didn’t,” climbing into “Oh, yes she did” territory. When X17 asked Shanna if she had anything to say to Paris Wednesday night, Shanna advised her frenemy to "take her Valtrex." (Valtrex is an anti-herpes drug.)

The battle has its roots in a September incident in which Paris was caught loaning her tongue to Moakler's ex, former blink-182 drummer Travis Barker. The musician - who is going to look like a massive, walking ink blot in 30 years after his tattoos have faded - is the second boyfriend Paris has stolen from Moakler, the first being boxer Oscar De La Hoya. One month ago, you may recall, Paris and Shanna each filed police reports against the other following a scuffle over Barker at Hyde nightclub in Hollywood. Paris claimed that Moakler punched her in the face, while Moakler contended that Paris's ex, Stavros Niarchos, pushed her down a flight of stairs.

People, people, people. Let's take a step back and remember who the real victim is in this battle: punk rock. Punk rockers are supposed to be the dirty, grimy, hellraisers who buck society's conventions and spit in the face of conformity. Now guys with freaking neck tattoos are being fought over by former beauty queens and heiresses. Is nothing sacred? If Barker has any integrity left, he'll pull himself out of the center of this battle and settle down with a nice, clichéd meth addict, just like his punk rock idols before him.

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