Ted Casablanca's Blind Vice from today-12.02.05

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From Ted C, "I'm so over my high school days that I don't even know where my friggin' yearbook is. Aren't you?

Well, you me and Drew Barrymore are all prolly more adjusted than former teen heartthrob Jumbo Jackoff. Girls crushed on him. Guys secretly wanted to dress like him. And moms were like, eh, he's not exactly David Cassidy, but he's okay.

Now, we've heard tales of woebegone child stars. They get hooked on crack and rob convenience stores. They bloat up and show up on The Surreal Life. Oddly enuff, J.J. is not one of these types of dudes.

He's moved on. He's had plenty of success as a stern adult. Jackoff is, like, totally settled. He's got a nice family and a hefty, respectable workload--which is exactly why his chums don't understand why he's such a damn douche bag, as of late.

For ince, when jerky Jack meets people, and I mean equally famous folks, he tells them not to mention his teenyboppin' past--under no circumstances (or he'll smack somebody, no joke). He even got his number-two pencils in a bunch at a wedding and accused a perfectly nice couple of mocking him when they very obviously were not.

I think J.J. should dip into his royalties and get some therapy. 'Cause if Jackoff keeps up the nasty, one of these days, someone's gonna bash him over the head with a lunch tray in line at the studio commissary.

Come to think of it, I think somebody already did.

...and it ain't: Joe(y) Lawrence, Jaons Priestly, Danny Bonaduce"

Source: E! Online