Ted Casablanca's Blind Item: One Chatty, Snorty Blind Vice

Ugh. At midnight, your pooch threw up on the designer sofa. Then your man says those crabcakes didn't sit well with him. And you're in the medicine cabinet looking for the damn Alka-Seltzer. All the while, you know the Lincoln Town Car's gonna be waiting for you tomorrow. Oy. And you gotta be camera-ready on top of it! And perky! Really perky! Yes, the life of a sickeningly popular boob-tube personality is demanding. How does one do it?

With cocaine, you twit. Every dummy knows that, nowadays. It's like any idiot who's halfway rich 'n' famous is back at Studio 54 again--only with less hairspray and jobs to go to in the ayem.

And the above tired-ass, drugged out, fake-smiled act certainly applies to Babe Dimple-Doo. In fact, this scenario fits Ms. D.-Doo so damn well, I'd say it's a miracle some tawdry story about the deceivingly demure dame hasn't surfaced in the tabs already. Gosh, wonder why that is?

Smarty Babe cut a deal, that's why.

Sundry supermarket rags enjoy regular access to BMs. Dimple-Doo's meatloaf recipes, bathroom designs and parlor-room thoughts whenever they so please. But hands off the powder trail! No surprise there. G.P. is all about the très-accessible image, see.

Like I always say, home is where the speeding heartbeat is, right?

To view all Ted's Blind Items CLICK HERE

Here's What We Have So Far:

Pixie Mixie - Nicole Ritchie
Ham Drum - DJ AM
Petunia Pickle-Pop - - Paris Hilton, or Jessica Simpson, or Tara Reid
Eve Envy - Ashley Simpson, or Nikki Hilton
Jordache Junkie - Kirsten Dunst (ok I am giving in I think it could be Kirsten)
Gloria Good-Hag - Kirsten Dunst, Angelina Jolie
Morgan Mayhem - Lindsay Lohan
Barker Kumesalot - Charlie Sheen
Melba Toast - Jennifer Aniston
Devon Heaven - Brad Pitt
Croon Whitebread - John Mayer
Toothy Tile (tough one) - Jake Gyllenhaal, or Orlando Bloom
Diandra Dope - Jennifer Aniston
Fudgey Poof - Vince Vaughn
Stanley Manly - Hugh Hefner
Trent Spent - Toby McGuire
Jumbo Jackoff - Mark Paul Gosselar or Rick(y) Schroeder
Stealth Stud-Poof - John Travolta, Heath Ledger, Ryan Phillippe
Dimple Doo - ? ?

Source